© shi

逃亡

突然好想，把自己封闭
坚固的墙，不允许陌生人入侵
唯有在自己的堡垒里
没有烦人的喧哗吵闹
没有令人窒息的束缚
不必面对现实的世界
不必面对尔虞我诈
只有孤单陪伴
习惯寂寞伴随
抛下所有包袱
卸下所有伪装
只想。。。逃

本篇纯属虚构，如有雷同，纯属巧合。

© shi

迷茫，不解

仿佛像站在大海中被巨大浪潮袭击，不知所措
仿佛像走进了黑暗可怕的森林，不知如何逃脱
仿佛像被困在废墟中，不知如何挣脱
仿佛像自暴自弃似，堕落
仿佛像和妈妈走失了的孩子，惊慌失措
仿佛像做错事的孩子，不敢抬头面对
仿佛像站在十字路口，犹豫彷徨
只能无谓挣扎，独自面对，越陷越深，直到无法自拔
不想被束缚着，但又被现实捆绑着
面临即将到来的崩溃，又有谁能给我答案，寻找出口，让我有双翅膀，
仿佛像找到了属于自己辽阔的天空，无忧无虑的飞翔


“望” 想三部曲

希望

像被释放似，在悠悠翠绿的草原奔跑
暖暖的阳光照耀在身上，犹如一个温暖的怀抱
此时此刻，暂忘了伤痛
安心，舒服，自在，自由
希望很美好

失望

夕阳无限好，可惜近黄昏
听着小鸟回巢的声音
看着充满希望的太阳渐渐消失
感觉着力量被黑暗掠夺
恐惧排山倒海般攻击着
无助的任由眼泪滑落
只能等待着第一曙光的来临。

绝望

你说过做一辈子的好朋友
你说过一辈子一起分享喜与优
你说过一辈子陪我走
还没一辈子一切却已化为乌有
卷了，伤透了，哭累了，思念了
一切也没了。

时间能让伤口愈合，但疤痕却无法抹掉。


ok, 1st attempt at writing such stuffs. both kind of depressing hor..hmm..lol. but its easier to write sad stuffs. well, at least i attempted to write abt happy stuffs for the "希望".

m i so free to write?! no..lotsa work to do!!!!!!

gosh, the one wk hol is overrrrrrrrrr!!! n nope, i din do much studying..more of slacking and playing only..hahaha. well, 休息是为了走更长的路rite..HAHA!

sat went for Impresario at suntec. Angela live singing was so niceeeeeeee..omg..lol. but she only sang meng li hua and C da diao. dun have bu tong~!! shd have sang more!! it was the highlight of the whole program!!! hahahah. oh, n there was a SMU pair (chinese girl and malay guy) sang ni zui zhen gui. they were quite good but only get 1st runner-up. n the difference between the prizes are vv huge man. while some walked away with cash like $600, some only got party world vouchers..lollllll.

fri went kbox~~ muahahaha. thurs was quite boring..went back sch early in the morn to discuss project!! but thks to ys, i got the long awaited twins jing xuan ji, and the free webcam given out by creative..hahahaa. wed evening went jackson hse for mahjong with michael and karen. won some money but jackson was the big winner..lol. playing mahjong can help me build up my thinking and analytical skills..hahaha. so crappish! but really need to think and be decisive when playing mahjong kkkkkkk. its fun with or without money. it only increase the excitement when theres money involved..haha.

cant rem wad i did on tue..so i guessed i slacked the whole day at home..hhaha. mon went back sch to discuss FYP. i wonder when can we finish our fyp. .zzzzzz.

n now..... i m vvvv hungry!! time for lunch!~! its a battle between maggie mee or gg out to buy again. but i m so lazy to go buy lunch when the weather is so hot..hahah.

既然你问起 - 黄义达

既然你問我 重點已不在我快不快樂 後來的事其實不必多說
心疼的是他對 你好冷漠
＊時間粉落 如雪落 心裡的火還為你執著 叫我如何 不再難過
當初我 不就是現在的你在聽候發落
**愛並沒有對錯 我痛過 總算一點一點的懂得 你是自由的 不必只屬於我
我怎能不難過 你哭了 但妳要的安慰不是我 愛不自由的 當愛得比較多
愛並沒有對或錯 我明白遲來先到的沒有因果 你是自由的 不必只屬於我
我怎能不難過 你哭了 但你要安慰的不是我
只要他一個 勝過一百個我 既然你問我 你問起我

部落格 - 黄义达

美 只剩过眼云烟 时间倒转那夜 我才了解爱的美丽诗篇
#说爱走到了极限 我想GOOGLE爱情 有没有答案在网络里面
在我的指尖敲打着键盘 无声的 却爱得深刻 或许在爱得部落格 储存着思念
**就这样 我颓废 夜无法入睡 用沉默 把自己灌醉 街灯它撒白了房间 夜色弥漫孤单气味
爱无畏 只是给不给 你了解 装作无所谓 时空隔开爱得真伪 相拥的棉被 只剩下爱情的余味

到底多久 - 黄义达

幸福可以很残忍 带着脆弱的眼神 舍不得 短短的一句 就此忘了吗 亲手把你送给他
接受了爱的惩罚 孤单是我的终点 算了吧 短短的一句 只有伤痛吧 让沉默把这个笑容锁在心里头
**天长地久有多久 再见还说不出口 所有记忆被洗去后 什么没带走
天长地久有多久 我把快乐放在你的手中 记得你要好好的过
幸福可以很残忍 带着脆弱的眼神 舍不得 短短的一句 就此忘了吧 让沉默把这个笑容锁在心里头
**天长地久有多久 再见还说不出口 所有记忆被洗去后 什么没带走
天长地久有多久 我把快乐放在你的手中 记得你要好好的过
天长地久有多久 或许一生都不够 所有记忆被洗去后　剩什么没带走
天长地久有多久 我把快乐放在你的手中 记得你要好好的过　记得你要好好的过

那女孩 - 黄义达

我盯著天空 像傻瓜聽風吼 雲一樣滾動 過了幾年了
從那個雨天 到藍色天空 從寂寞 到自由 原來世界早已不同
**I believe I believe 那女孩是真的愛我
I believe I believe 眼淚不再凝固的左手
I believe I believe 有某一些痛 我們都懂
雖然在雨天的時候 記憶它老是狠狠咬著我耳朵
我看到未來的結果 那女孩他的溫柔 是我的感動

current top 4 favorite songs from 黄义达's 《完整演出》..v nice!!!

逆光 - 孙燕姿

也许我一直害怕有答案 也许爱情仅在风里打转
离开释怀 很短暂又重来 有时候自问自答
我不要困难把我们击散 我责备自己那么不勇敢
遗憾没有到达 拥抱过还是害怕 用力推开你我一人留下
**有一束光那瞬间 是什么痛得刺眼 你的视线是谅解为什么舍不得熄灭
我逆着光却看见 那是泪光那力量 我不想再去抵挡
面对希望逆着光感觉爱存在的地方 一直就在我身旁
我不要困难把我们击散 我责备自己那么不勇敢
遗憾没有到达 拥抱过还是害怕 用力推开你我一人留下
**有一束光那瞬间 是什么痛得刺眼 你的视线是谅解为什么舍不得熄灭
我逆着光却看见那是泪光那力量 我不想再去抵挡
面对希望逆着光感觉爱存在的地方 一直就在我身旁
*我以为无路后退 反复证明 这份爱有多不对 背对着你如此漆黑
忍住疲惫 睁开眼 打开窗才发现你就是光芒
**有一束光 那瞬间是什么痛得刺眼 你的视线是谅解为什么舍不得熄灭
我逆着光却看见 那是泪光那力量 我不想再去抵挡
面对希望逆着光感觉爱存在的地方 一直就在我身旁 光芒你是光芒

yanzi's new song..muahhaha. well written lyrics + yanzi voice = superb song. hahahah

lala~ feeling sleepy now although i woke up at 10+ this morn..hahaha. i m NOT pig..heee. anyway, ytd went for the first management tutorial. n goonz us, christina n me went for the wrong class. We just follow fiona blindly to her class, n after 15 mins or so, i checked my timetable n saw that our class is at S3 seminar rm 3, not SR1..hahhaha. first time went for the wrong class. N no wonder fiona told us they were already at tut 2, n she din receive any email regarding the cancelling of lessons 2 wks ago. I was still tinking cant possibly be so weird that only me n christina received the email n missed the lessons mah..lol. but the tutor is quite interesting la. he was the one who conducted the workshop on job hunting/interv skills/resume writting. but u have to be quite active for this tutorial class..have to speak out, n at the end of the class, u have to write down wad u have contributed on the piece of card he give. so as a result, there were many ppl voicing out their opinions during the lesson.

this aftnn had tuition as usual. n my student seems quite discouraged over her econs essay marks. but i told her i always fail my econs essays during JC oso..as well as other tests..hahahaha. wrong encouragement?! lol. ohhhh.. n she told me CHOY KEEN MENG (my forecasting lecturer) actually went to PJ last wed to "advertise" HSS econs..hahahah. n she said that he was v lame. no one luffed when he cracked a joke, n he had to say: "its a joke." before they "attempted" to luff..lollll. but some of the jokes he cracked in class were quite funny oso leh..hahahha. but its kind of weird to have him gg to "advertise" for the sch isint it? seems no link..hahha. well, at least he was more helpful than Randolph (econometrics lecturer last sem), who din replied our email we sent him to ask for consultation. gave CKM a last min call on fri aftnn n we could meet him in that same aftnn. Maybe its becos hes more slack..hahhaha.

next next wk is the CNY wk liao! n after tt ll be the 1 wk break..which means half a sem is over. time really flies man..it seems as though sch has juz started n half the sem is already gone. soon ll need to mug for exams again..zzzzzzzzzzzz.

lalala..sch has started!! *yawnzzz* haaaaaa..n its already the starting of 4th wk soon. time flies man..but sch is still quite sianz..hahaha. tutorials, readings, projects blah blahhh..zzzzzzz

last thurs (18th), went for dinner with ys, py and hj at serangoon's chomp chomp after lessons. well, we had 3 stop points in during the journey from sch to serangoon, cos py had to check the streetdirectory..lol. n we keep suan-ing him..hahhaha. by the time we reached there, i was already damn hungryyy (but i tink i m always v hungry when its mealtimes)..lol. but it was quite fun la..hahha.

and thurs (25th), went for dinner with mag n kok at JP..hahhaah. zzzzzz..due to financial constraints, we had to settle for LJS for dinner..LOL. den we had scoopz for desserts! *yummy* heeeeeeee. mag, i m waiting for ur treat after u get ur 1st mth pay!! lollllll

cant believe i m so tired now that my eyes are abt to close, though its still quite early..lol. its time for bed soon!!

got the pics taken at Genting/KL from mag finally!! ahahahaa

outside Genting Hotel..cheese!~!

outdoor in Genting. can see that its really vvv misty and with the winding blowing, its freezing cold. but it feels shiok to feel the cold wind..hahaha. the weather is the best attraction of Genting..lolz

one of the indoor theme park ride. this swan carriage (do u call it a carriage?! lol) is the most beautiful one! but we weren't so lucky to be able to sit in that..hahaha

waiting to go in 4D motion master! queue damn long, but den again, we had to queue v long for all the rides since the outdoor theme park was closed due to the weather.

took the ferris wheel when we were abt to leave. its quite shaky esp when it stopped for ppl to alight and board..hahha
Sunway lagoon! i TINK this pic is taken from inside the ferris wheel..can see the roller coaster track. the roller coaster was quite exciting man..hahahha.

the vv long suspension bridge..if i nv rem wrongly, it was 440m long. we din walk to the farrrr~ end though..lolzz.

ate A&W!! muahhaha *siaoz*

its a tiring day todae, after a whole aftnn of trying out 2 new products. one failed totally, while the other can at least be considered passable..hahahha.

ytd evening met up with kai wen for dinner at jp!! it has been ages since we last met up lo!! hahhaa..really glad that at least we meet up b4 sch reopens. had a not-filling dinner n went to coffee bean to slack awhile. after which, being a great fren (as usual...LOL), i accompanied her to yew tee to collect sth first, n after tt accompany her take train to JE b4 heading back home..wahhhhh..hahahha.

sch's starting soon again!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh..i wan more time to slack slack n SLACK!!!!! staying home doing nth is shuang manz..

Pics!!!!!!!!

the table of free flow side dishes..bombarded by food!!!

the amazing wet tissue. put tt small wrapped up cloth into water n it ll become a piece of wet tissue! (okok, maybe its only me who is tootz)

beautifully taken grp photo with JC frens

the unusual ginger cinnamon tea

another beautifully taken grp photo with uni frens

the steak at Jerry's bbq n grill

lalala~~ back from holidayings!! lots of stuffs to blog about, but it all have to depend on how powerful my memory is..hahaha.

last last sat (16/12) went to kx and kw hse for steamboat with sec sch frens! had to buy and prepare food again as well. though its only for 5 ppl, but the preparation was oso tiring!! by right, i thot the bdae gal shd be relaxing but in my case, somehow its not so..hahaha. so now, other den preparing bbq, we can diversify to help prepare steamboat too!! hahahhaha. stayed over at their hse as usual, and played mahjong. but my frens were too pro, and so i lost some money! hahhaa. i tink i still need to pay more sch fees to improve my skills..lolz. they got me a laptop cooler (as i requested..haaaaa) and a speaker system. kx n kw made me a paper weight, and gave another wallet. oh, n tg had to help me carry the speakers to my door step, cos it was really heavy with the subwoofer..haa. thanks thanks (though they wun be reading this..haha) =)

(17/12, sun) reached home and slpt at abt 7+, n woke up at 11 to go bugis with my family. went to bai bai and bought some stuffs. got home really really shagged, and concussed at 10+ that nite..hhahaha.

(18/12, mon) met mag earlier at clementi to meet a person who is looking for proof readers to edit his work. he actually wrote books which are mainly meant for primary sch children. but both mag and i thot that the words used are too exaggerating, though they are meant to allow readers to visualise the scenes. I m not confident of doing a good job, and most prob not taking it up..hahaha. den went for lunch, and sang k box. and from then, the actings began..lolz. actually nth much to act when we were singing la, but the main part was that, mag n kok were waiting for me to go toilet so that they can update the rest the plans. but den, as some of my frens would know, my bladder is strong, and i can withstand not gg toilet for long period of time..hahaa. but still, in the end, i did went to the toilet..hahaa.

first in the spotlight: MAG went out of the rm at ard 6 or 6+ to ans a call. came in back rm n tell me she needs to leave first becos kevin ang is lost, n duno how to go the dinner place. den kok n nana volunteered themselves v fast to pei mag go. den i asked mag y not ask him to meet us at clementi station n den we can split into 2 cabs to go the place. got no response (if i din rem wrongly) and somehow the 3 manage to get away..lolll. was tinking abit weird la. n mag duno how to act..shd tink of a better excuse or learn from me la..hahhahahaha. so tam, yingz, winnie and me were left in the rm. den we left at 7 n realised that it was pouring so heavily!!! took cab from a busstop and reached the dinner place kind of early (i made reservations for 740). dinner was korean charcoal bbq at Ju Shin Jung at YESS centre (opp haw par villa). We ordered a portion of beef, 2 kinds of pork, chicken and mushrooms, and a ginseng chicken soup. n their side dishes were free flow..got lotss of side dishes, though some didn't really suit my taste..hahaha. the waitresses there will do the bbq-ing for us, n so all we did was eat and eat..hahhahaa. we did bbq a little la, to heat up the meat which was left on the table for awhile. rong din join us in the end, because by the time he came, we would have finished dinner. oh oh, and den they served desserts which were complimentary. er...dessert was...hmmmm...mmmm..uuuhhh. hahhahahaha, i cant rem the name liao! a drink with cinnamon inside, and so the taste was a little funny and cinammon taste was quite strong. (it was cinammon rite?! lolllllll). after that, they cleared our bowls, and gave us another small plate and fork. i was like hmm? still got sth to eat ar? n someone (4gt who again! pls tell me and i ll edit..lol) still say got other free desserts and i believed her! ahhh.. den came the surprise..hahhaa.

next in the spotlight: KOK n NANA said they wanna go to the washroom. den one of them or was it someone else, came back and tam passed her a lighter..*faints* at this time, of cos i had to act blur and pretend i din see anything so as not to spoil the surprise..hahhaah. den ta dah! the cake appeared mysteriously..hahahaha. after that was the usual routine of cutting cake, taking pics etc. took abt 5 videos and all were quite funny..lolllll. oh, mag is gd at acting stupid in the background though..next time i noe wad role to give u liao!!!! HAHHAhh!

mystery of the cake: since i have programmed my brain not to be too smart that nite (so as not to spoil the surprise hahhahahaa), i took a long time guessing how the cake got in..lolz. kok, mag, nana went to pick up the cake first n den took cab down to Ju Shin Jung with kevin A. they thot since they left earlier, they would be able to reach teh palce first and smuggle the cake in easily. but, it was raining heavily and they waited v long for a cab at the mac's taxi stand. n we unexpectedly manage to hail a cab quite fast. so, to their horror, our taxi is in front of them!! haahaha. poor the 4 of them..they had to alight somewhere further away from the entrance n carry the cake in the rain (my poor cake too!! loll). at the door, they had to signal frantically for the waiter, cos we were already seated n they cant carry the cake in. imagine 4 ppl (mayb 3 excluding kevin A) waving their hands and arms, trying to get the attention of the staffs..hahhahahaa..quite hilarious eh. *oops* the manager saw them and after knowing their plan, he walked by another secret route outside the restaurant! wahh..lol. i could only guessed that it was the staff who help brought the cake in, but duno how they manage to escape my sharp eyes..hahhahaa.

next in the spotlight: mE Me n ME!! hahahahhaa. cos it was time to get the presents..hahahha. received a WHITE adidas jacket and a creative zen neeon 6G mp3!!! omg!!!! lol. thanks to all for the presents. =)

mystery of the present: i cant believe that mag n kok told me so many lies!!! n the worse part is, i still believed them!! i m so gullible..lolllll. we (the usual JC gang) went for KTV on the 12th at marina square, n they actually bought my presents on tt day!! *faints* since we are singing the 2-7 package, i asked the 2 of them if they wanna have lunch first. mag bluffed that shes having lunch with kevin first (of cos i wun suspect anything rite) and kok said she gg dentist with fren in town. so actually, they went to buy my presents first b4 meeting up. kok hid the adidas jacket in her bag, n mag hid the creative mp3 box in hers..lol. no wonder their bags looks quite big tt time..lol. they actually wanted to buy the zen v plus cos i told kok abt it when i saw it at sitex tt time. but it was sold out, and so they chose this 6G one..hahhaa. i tink they wanted to buy purple for me, but it was oso out of stock, and so got me a red one, which was oso AA enough for my liking..HAHHA.

the "horror" part: by usual routine, i would dump my small bag/clutch inside one of their bags, but since tt day kok carried a v big bag, i dumped mine inside hers. n i accidentally saw the blue paper bag inside kok bag. initially i thot nth of it, until mag gave a horrified and shock face to kok and den i thot, hmmm mayb its my present. but its ok la, even if i noe its adidas jacket, i wouldnt noe the design..hahhaha. n on my bdae tt day, i wanted to borrow mag jacket and i juz took it myself from her bag. weird thing was i din see the creative box juz under the jacket..mag told me i would have seen it once i take out the jacket..hahhaa. told u my brain and all senses become stupid and slower for tt day liao lo..hahahhaa.

last in the spotlight (ahhhhh..who dare to steal my limelight of the day! okok, v lame..hahahha): the TWO who planned everything and bought the presents, as well as telling lots of lies. i noe telling lies are not easy cos they have to be foolproof and usually u need to tell more lies to cover the first lie..hahhaha. do i sound experienced? *oops* i cant lie oso de kkkkkkk. only occasionally act with mag only horrrrr..lolllll. n of cos the other 5 pei jue and celeb the day with me..thanks thanks thanksss..=D

pics mayb later~ hee

wooo~ ytd went to eat at Jerry's bbq & grill as an early bdae celebration for christina and me. had quite a hard time finding the place though, cos it was not at tanglin mall, which both christina and me thot it was..hahhahaa. it was at tanglin shopping centre..duh~ thot both was the same..lolz. anyway, food was not tt bad, but 95% was meat..hahahha. shared a combo which consists of chicken and ribs with christina..and some steak which ys kept "throwing" to me..hahahha. the chicken and ribs were tender enough, but the bbq sauce was quite little..shd have given more..hahaa. steak din had the beef taste..if not i would'nt have ate it oso..lol. sm ordered a grilled fish i tink which seems a little pathetic..but of cos, being a nice fren, we shared our combo with her..hahhaha. oh..n the fried mushroom was vv nice..vv juicy..*yummy* hahhaa. the place wasnt crowded which i like..cos we can be as noisy as we want..hahaahha. took some pics as well, but i m quite lazy to post it up..hahhaa.

oh, and i received a photoframe made by ys, a white clutch (is tt how u spell it??) from christina, and a green crumpler sling bag, a white belt, a small pouch from all of them..heeeeee. the crumpler bag was really quite a pleasant surprise..hahhahaha. thanks thanks for all the presents and of cos a wonderful lunch! =)

lalallaa~

went nana's bdae party on sat (2nd)! helped prepare food for bbq with kok, mag, yingz, kevin and with nana helping occasionally..hahhaa. suggested to them that we can set up a company to help ppl prepare bbq stuffs, but the labor cost itself seems quite ex already..hahah. party was fun!! ate quite alot oso leh..esp the mushrooms..lol. and also took lots of pics with some funny candid ones..hahahah.

sun went East Coast with family and relatives. halfway went sitex with my cousin and goshh..there were lotsssSSSSsssss of ppl. had to squeeze and push our way thru..ahahah. only help kok bought a mouse though..hahhaa. had a quick bite at rocky masters to fill our hungry stomach (din ate much at the bbq), and the jumbo sausage is damn nice..lol. so was the choc drink which i forgot the name..but there were choco bits inside the drinks..yummy~~