feeling damn sianz, no mood to do work, no mood to do schedule for taiwan, no mood to talk. but no worries, at least juz now i still had mood to eat. and hopefully i will have the mood to slp.

seriously, i dun understand why i face insomnia or bad sleep so frequently, at least too often for my liking.

and this 3 lines suddenly appear in my mind
有些话说不出口
有些路不敢走
勇气不是人人都有

we really do need alot of courage in life dun we?

Onitsuka Chihiro鬼束千尋 － Gekkou月光(Live)



very powerful and great live performance

thks mag! XD

ever since i first heard 沙漠 written by 陈环 on Spop hurray many many wks ago, i liked it alot.
To my pleasant surprise, i found out today that someone uploaded it on imeem music!! yay!! and chen di yan sang the song well too!

词曲: 陈环

有时候我会沉默
拼命闪躲
选择放肆的生活

#而你的心是片沙漠
包围着我
天空辽阔我却没了寄托

*一直飞 翅膀 也会疲惫
在你空空的世界体会天冷天黑

% 感觉到
我在你的世界慢慢疯掉
想要 回忆里所承诺的美好

^ 我想逃
我害怕被狂沙吞噬掉
再也找不回 从前微笑

repeat #*%^^

time to take a breather from work!

watched P.S. I love you last wed with kok and tam at lot 1. A touching and sad show, but i thot it could have been better. some parts could have been more detailed and happened at a slower pace, or have more letters..hahaha. would have more tears falling den. n this is the show i liked the most among the 4 shows i watched recently. wanna read the book though..hee.

last thurs spent V-day bbq-ing with a group of uni frens, that was organised by Alice. Wooo~ quite a fun and crazy nite with many crazy people around..hahahah. it was also the first time i have ever "捞" yu sheng on a table! cos there are too many ppl, and the ingredients were too much. It was also the first time i tried drinking beer+orange juice+sprite..hahaha. i din noe beer can be mixed this way, the smell of the beer, which is the reason y i dun like beer, was covered, yet retaining the bitter after taste of the beer. after gg for this bbq, i also "koped" some better n much faster method of preparing food. For eg, no more wrapping mushrooms and sotongs..juz cook in a tray on top of the grill! wah, so smart! and its very time and labour efficient!! XD

sat had another bbq again for JC gathering, at the usual place near my house. A few ppl couldnt make it last min, but in total 15 (including me) turned up. Not that bad, at least half the class could make it..hahhaha. Was quite worried that the food we ordered and bought were not enough, because by 9+ pm, we had already finish bbq-ing most of the food. Its the first time that the food finish so fast, usually we bbq until midnight..hahaha. but nonetheless, there were still some food left, mostly the stingrays. the bbq wholesale is really quite expensive, mayb next time should juz ask my mum to marinate the wings and meat for us. It would have saved us quite abit of money. the stingrays were too spicy (again), and my family commented that the mashed potato were too creamy and cheesy, but not sure wad the others thought. the stingray was really spicy, because when i had it for 2 more consecutive meals, i could easily eat one fish w half of my rice, and sweat like mad..the chilli has already penetrated into the fish meat, which made it worse la! but my blender (the one my ys + others gave to me for the stall tt time) spoil!!! ahhhhhhhh!!! angry!!

after bbq, tam, ying, mag and kok stayed over at my hse for a chill-out session. nana came by later, chatted and watched sammi concert with us. after watching sammi concert, we watched jay's concert dvd. i prefer sammi's, so i m really not quite a jay's fan huh. watched CJ 7 online too, and the 七仔 was extremely cute!!!!! HAHAHA. love his expressions and reactions..really v cute and funny. cried when stephen chow died, even though i had expected that 七仔 will somehow save him, since he has got reviving power. after all the concerts and show marathon, it was lights out at 5+am. was very tired and sleepy by the time already, but i still couldnt fall asleep -.-". i was very physically tired already, and my eyelids were very heavy, but my mind still seems to be active, or perhaps 3 person squeezing a mattress on the floor is abit too uncomfy to slp. poor ying who keep coughing, and the warm water i gave her doesnt really help too.

ying woke up at 8 and left first cos she had to teach tuition at 10, and i admire her dedication..i cancelled my tuition in the aftnn, cos i was really too shagged. after ying left, i slpt on the bed and conked out totally until 10..hahaa. laze until 11+ b4 sending the rest off. had lunch, and made "summer snow" to eat, as my mum had freeze the last can of coconut juice and we had a mango whihc was bought quite long ago. great heat relief. went to nap from 4+ to 6+, and had dinner. attempted to do the HE411 assignment, but i stared at my word doc, and the word doc stared back at me..so it was a failed attempt..hahaa.

mon morn wanted to wake up at 9am (8hrs of slp), but i went back to slp after turning off my alarm and slpt until 10! gosh..hahaha. quickly woke up and studied for korean quiz in the aftnn. well, the quiz "buang" already..haaa. it was such a long quiz la, and the teacher muz have taken much effort and time to prepare the 10 pages (i tink so) quiz, which includes listening, vocab, grammar, 2 comprehension, and a short essay. the easiest part of the quiz has got to be the listening..if listening is considered the most do-able part..u all can imagine the rest of the paper..hahaha. anyway, sort of rushed thru the paper also la, cos after finishing the listening, we only start the rest of the paper at 530! how to finish in half an hr?! we were given extra time, but i still gotta rush to NIE lo. couldnt write the essay, cos i nv study vocabs and i only wrote one sentence for 9marks..lol. most prob gg to SU it anyway.

today did the HE411 assignment. tonight and tomorrow nite are supposed to be spent doing korean essay (500 words!!) which is due on thurs. but after gg for a short run juz now, my brain is malfunctioning again. next wk will be the one wk break liao! still gotta submit the biobiz assignment on wed, and do another HE411 assignment. Many many readings to do for the assignment..Zzz.

oh and ytd i was damn blur and careless la! took 172 home at nite and saw donovan on the same bus, so we chatted and i nv listen to my phone mp3. when alighting from the bus, my phone slipped out from my pocket and i din realise!! alighted from the bus and reach into my pocket for my phone to look at the time, and TO MY HORROR i realised that it dropped on the bus! rushed home and papa drove me to cck interchange. was VV lucky! a kind soul saw the phone and gave it to the bus driver who den returned to the interchange office. wahh, i am really very very grateful for the honest and kind passenger and driver as well. saved me alot of trouble, inconvenience, time and money. good karma?? lol. should continue to do more good deeds and earn more good karma.

grp pic of us 12 gals w half covered face..hahaha. the masks were sponsored by shi hui, who only mentioned it when we were abt to end the bbq..dots..lol. nevertheless, we still got time to take quite many funny pics of us wearing it.

ys and me~!

me and shi hui~!

half of S09 class pic

nana, ying, and me trying to take a pic, with tam, kok and mag trying to destroy it by being in the background..HAHA

CNY was BUSY BUSY and really like 狂欢. and the price of that is 2 days of tiredness and sian-ness.

CNY eve woke up at 7+ to go sch from 830 to 1130, den went to ah ma hse n bai bai. 捞鱼生 and ate shark fins too! wahh..nice nice. but we shouldnt be so cruel to the sharks hor..yaya, i have decided not to eat shark fins anymore!! perhaps home-cooked one can be an exception?? simply too good to resist. this yr we also became more skilful when lao yu sheng, no abalone on the floor and ceiling, but there were carrots and radish on my right arm until my shoulder.

den 6+ walked from ah ma hse to somewhere at keat hong there with my eldest aunt family to have dinner tgt. yup, to save the huge and tiring preparation work, we dun eat reunion dinner all 30+ of us tgt liao.

chu 1 was the usual routine, morn go papa side ah ma hse and have vegetarian breakfast first (vegetarian for half a day every yr). slack, stone, eat lunch, play cards until late aftnn den go a distant relative hse, where we continue playing cards (cos theres nth to do, n we were all really dozing off)..hahaha. after which, i went to mama side uncle and ah ma hse for dinner. the buffet dinner wasnt nice..heard that they changed the cater..ahhhh, really not nice. prev yrs one were not bad.

chu 2 wanted to slp more, but my papa n mama woke me up when they got back from mkt. after lunch, got ready to set off and do more visitings with my eldest aunt, youngest aunt and 4th uncle. visited 3 more distant relatives (papa's aunt and uncle) in total, and could have been 4, but the last one wasnt home when we went..hahaa. dinner was at kfc for us 9 kids (definition of kids here: not adults means kids..w age ranging from age 10 to 20+), while the adults had rice at the coffeeshop juz outside.

winnie (cousin) followed us back to my hse and "rest" a while, and at 9+ vincent (it feels so weird to omit the gor..lol) drove us to jp to watch late nite movie, ah long pte ltd. first time i watched a show with so many cousins..11 of us in total, though 3 of them were cousins' gfs. the show..hmm..not worth a $9.50 show la, becos there is like not much of a plot, but mark lee was quite funny. i rem there was this part where a sacarastic remark was made abt singapore sth (cant rem), which was supposed to be funny i guess, but no laughter can be heard..i wonder..

after the show, me n my bro and 2 other younger cousins went to winnie (and vincent) hse to stay over. watched final destination 2, which was erm..a lil gore, but ok, i hid one eye behind the pillow. i duno since when do i not like gore/bloody movies..thot i was ok w it last last last last time..haaaa. slpt at 5+ and woke up at almost 12, juz in time for my aunt's curry! yummy~

so spent chu 3 at my eldest aunt hse (gathering there) and in the evening went to mama's side youngest side hse for another gathering. papa left at 9+ to drive my bro to his fren's hse while me and mama stayed on, since the cousins who stayed opp the road from my place drove 2 cars, and can easily send us back. played blackjack until 10+? den the adults somehow learnt another new game and my cousin sent me, mama, and my ah ma back at 12+, while the rest still continued. me n my cousin were already v slpy liao, but they still not tired..0.0. tink i slpt at 3+..haaaa

chu 4..hmm, did my parents woke me up again?? hahah, i cant rem. but anyway, woke up feeling vv slpy and tired la. aftnn went over to my aunt place, and saw my cousin's frens from NTU, army etc. sat for a short while, and headed to a coffee shop at woodlands for dinner w papa side relatives. the food tt day wasnt quite up to the usual standard, which we ate b4 (actually i cant rem how the food tasted the past few times we ate), but the food tt day wasnt nice, and according to my cousins, it wasnt the case previously. most prob due to CNY crowd and shortage of chefs in the kitchen. we had to wait quite long for the food to be served oso..n the kua zhang thing is..when the 1st dish came, our rice din come, so instead of continuing to wait (since we have already waited vv long), we scoop the rice ourselves!!! best liao!! hahha

next day woke up mon liao!! CNY hol over!! time to work hard!! and i was vv slpy and lethargic on sun and mon. ZZzzzZZz. today was much better.

oh today went to watch kungfu slamdunk. better show den ah long? haaaaa. tts wad i thot, at least the cast was much better..haaaa. abit unrealistic (as can be expected) and lame at some parts, but overall was not bad. see the way they played basketball and slamdunk oso cool! i wun mind if ah sa got more scenes though..

tml watching p.s. i love u! wah, suddenly movie marathon?? haaa. but lot 1 cinema there having renovations and no more nachos to buyyyy!! so sad! ahhhhhh..yaya i noe i ate last fri when watching ah long, but still..the craving doesnt stop..ahahaha.

b4 we 捞

after we 捞

sumptuous lunch!!

2 cousins, whom we dun meet often..the boy is so cuteee!! and shuai! lol

the 4 who slack/rot/stone tgt at ah ma hse, ok leave the 2nd left guy out cos he seldom go ah ma hse liao..hor hor!!

3 models~

erm..another 3 models? LOL

新年快乐！happy new yr to all!!

get more angbaos! XDD

went back to PJ this morn to look for lao shi (Ms Chin). she still looked the same, but doesnt seems as tired as the last time mag n me bumped into her 1+ years ago. erm, chatted for abt 1 hr? told her abt the gathering we will be having on the 16th also, but so suay laaaaa, she's watching a concert w her frens on tt day, and so cant join us. n she asked us to take a updated pic on tt day n send her..haaa. she still rem me as short-haired..0.0". i guessed we din look for her when we went back to collect cert in 2004. and she say she thot mag was short-haired oso..lolz.

now feeling abit 百感交集, cannot put into words with my limited writing ability.


------------------------------------------1:25 pm------------------------------------------

the idea of a concert to me is enjoying the songs sang by the artiste on stage, immersing oneself in the atmosphere where thousands of similar others cheer and sing tgt, showing their support for him/her. how many ppl actually have tears welled up in the middle of a concert? how many concerts actually bring tears to one's eyes?

Sammi 2007's show mi concert juz caused me to do so. and i m not even watching it live (yea, i shd have..). there were 2 segments which were touching: one when she mentioned about her father, and talked a lil abt the period when she "disappeared" or took a break from the entertainment cicle, the other was when she read a letter that she wrote to herself.

some of the things she said really left a deep impression on me:

人生是一场自己与自己的竞技，与人无关，与人无尤，战胜一个懦弱的自己，更胜过击败其他的生命。

人在每个阶段都需要勇气面对自己，面对将来。

i had told myself since some time ago to listen to my heart and follow wad it says. stay true to urself, be urself and life would be happier. but, how easy is that? with all the different voices, both internally and externally, i juz cant seem to hear wad exactly it is saying. it is confused, and making me confused, making me unsure, making me feel lost.

back to the concert, during the encore, she actually appeared on stage with a slice of bbq pork (rou gan) in one hand and a humongous lollipop in the other, so we see the sammi w a huge tinge of craziness. and the songs were great (ok, i admit i skipped the dance medley part) but still, the other songs were vvv well sung! *thumbs up!*

the past week had been quite tiring (i duno y either), and i tink it ll be more so during this coming wk. oh, and a bbq on 16th (0.0). ahhh, hope i wun be bombarded with the same old many qns by relatives during CNY!!

time for bed!

十字路口

有多少人站在这里犹豫不决
有多少人站在这里裹足不前
有多少人站在这里彷徨无助
看着天上的白云缓缓飘过
看着多少人擦肩而过
时而艳阳高照
时而寒雨刺骨
多少次在矛盾里挣扎
多少次在边缘反复徘徊
天使与恶魔的斗争
理智与不安的拉扯
日复一日却不知如何取舍
太多的应该和不应该
太多的可以和不可以
究竟是真的不懂
还是欠缺违背理性的勇气

went to check my eyesight today. the optical 88 at lot 1 gave me a shock, after the guy use the machine n told me tt my left eye increase 150 deg..can fainttt! so went to another optician at my hse there, n he use the "manual" check..only 100 deg lo. ok, not only..100 is alot at this age..wad have i been doing to my eyes?

so i should come up with some measures to prevent further deterioration:

1. reduce use of laptop (impossible)
2. no reading of notes/journals/studying after 11pm when the eyes are tired (easily done)
3. no watching of tv for more than 2 hrs per day (also easily done, some days i dun watch tv at all)
4. no playing of solitaire showdown on msn w mag (take it tt i nv say this too, cos its impossible. the game is too addictive and exciting!)
5. paint my room green (dun tink it ll help cos its not scientifically proven that green is good for eyesight)

so conclusion, deterioration of eyesight cant be helped too much.